Wow these previews…let’s get started on the Bachelorette JoJo season 12 Episode 3. It really should be Episodes 3!
It seems we are continuing with the Chad Show theme from last week. They are foreshadowing a lot of tension between he and Alex. (Hello, if he makes it past this episode I predict a two on one date with Alex and Chad – cause that is what this show likes to do!).
Chris comes in and says there are three dates this week: one group date and two 1 on 1 dates. He leaves a date card. James Taylor reads the card. Chase – Let’s get physical. Love JoJo. He is ecstatic. The rest of the guys shoot daggers at him with their eyes. Back to the Chad show, he complains about not getting the date.
They show Chris cleaning up the toilet papering!
Chase rolls up in a limo to pick up JoJo. They end up taking a hot yoga class.
The instructor asks how long have they been intimate. Well we met a week ago! AWKWARD. They watch the teacher doing pelvic thrusts. AWKWARD. She shows them how to do an angergasm.
Thanks to Ashley for the above GIF. Be sure to check out her blog for some great posts, including Bachelorette Recaps!
Um. AWKWARD (so maybe this is the awkward show instead of the Chad show).
Oh yeah – back to the Chadshow…he works out. Daniel and Chad work out together. Evan predicts if either of them don’t find love with JoJo they can go off in the sunset together.
Back to AWKWARD Yoga. JoJo likes Chase shirtless (so do we JoJo, so do we). She mounts Chase.
Whoa. Steamy. How do they not just make out…Thanks Chase – he finally made the move. They have a hot make out session during the hot yoga session.
Chase and JoJo have a nice dinner after awkward hot yoga date. They seem natural together. Chase talks about his parents divorce and that he really wants to find the right person. JoJo asks if he thinks this process could work. I kind of call bullshit on that question, since clearly since he is on this show, he must at some level thing this could work. Am I right? JoJo tells him that she is excited about him, sees a future with him, and knows he is there for her. Chase gets a rose. She says she has another surprise for him. And some musician hoping to make a break is there singing. I have no idea who it was. I looked it up – Charles Kelley, should I recognize him? I even listen to country music and have no idea who he is. (apparently he is part of Lady Antebellum whom I do know!) JoJo and Chase dance and make out.
I wonder what is up with Chad? He hasn’t had much airtime since the last commercial. No kidding as soon as I typed that we get a screenshot to the house…and ding dong – another date card. Ali reads it – Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, himself, Daniel, Vinny, Nick, Evan, Alex, Chad – Love has no secrets. Love JoJo. Chad says – I don’t want to go. I want to just wait for a 1 on 1 later. Jordan says – do you think she really wants to spend a whole day with you. Naturally he does. Of course, I kind of agree with Chad, I wouldn’t want to go on a date like that. It starts getting ugly and Chad shouts at Evan to stop talking. Jordan says Chad is on a bench press competition, and Chad clearly is pissed. Wow Alex needs to speak up and curses, and Chad curses back, and says he needs more tattoos to look like a badass. They have a staring contest and ask if each other if they want to take it outside.
Now it is group date day. Chad assures us that he will still be himself, shew we were worried. The guys show up and are excited to see JoJo. They are at a theater for a show of some type. The theater goes dark. A lady comes out, and it seems like she is faking an orgasm. Of course, she says that was what she was doing. Ha! I am good. The guys can’t believe it. They are so prudish. Apparently this is sex talk! The guys are figuring out that they will have to tell sex secrets. JoJo thinks it is important to be able to talk about sex. They have 45 minutes to come up with a story. Evan (erectile dysfunction Evan is ecstatic). James F. tells his mom to turn off the tv! LOL
Chad says JoJo hasn’t earned to hear about his sex life.
Here’s what the guys do:
- Grant – decides to give up his virginity at age 16. Cops pulled up and busted him while only wearing a condom.
- Nick – 16, doesn’t know what is going on. He says he knew something about the alphabet – WTH?
- Jordan – talks about a flaccid penis.
- James F. – grew up in a conservative home. Offers to show his testicles.
- Ali – talks about making up with a girl and he can feel her mustache
- Vinny – takes his clothes off.
- Daniel – talks about cutting off a piece of a girls hair while she is tied up. UM OK
- Wells – threesome story. All we see is him on the ground with his leg in the air.
- Evan – he talks about his job. Then talks about there being a lot of testosterone in the house, and the dangers of using steroids. CHAD JABS for sure. They show Chad ripping Evan’s shirt.
- Chad – he asks for a volunteer, and asks JoJo to come up on the stage. He tells her that they know nothing about what is going on with them. He tries to kiss her, and she turns away.
- Alex – they don’t show?
They show Chad punching a door and all of the guys chest bumping. Chad grabs Evans shirt neck and says he is gonna die. His main man Daniel even stands up to Chad. Why are the producers not grabbing him? People have been kicked off the show for MUCH less.
They show Chad’s hand is bleeding, he says a door got in his way.
They show Chad walking by Evan again – and getting in his face.
Now we are with JoJo and all of the guys. Is she completely oblivious?
Jordan gets some one on one time. He mentions his ex girlfriend, and mistakes he made, and insecurities. He explains he is “careful”. JoJo says it took her five episodes to open up to Ben, so she understands. They make out.
Wells and Nick both have nondescript time. Chad tries to interrupt Nick and JoJo says, he just sat down and to go away. But he really doesn’t – he sits right there and whistles. Poor Chad – he says everyone is making him out to be a big jerk. Ya Think? Vinny asks Chad how he thinks his performance went today. Vinny is going for the jugular, he asks how he felt when he went to kiss JoJo and she turned away. He said noone would be happy with that reaction but it was really that she just didn’t want to kiss him in front of everyone. Vinny asks about Chad pulling Evan’s shirt. Chad says he said to Evan to hold on, so he could get through, he says that is what pissed him off. Ok, he is trying to dig out of this. Doesn’t he realize he is on camera getting in Evan’s face? Evan says, when Chad became physical it all changed, he said he doesn’t want to avoid him. So I can’t believe he goes right in and talks to Chad. Evan treats people with erectile dysfunction, but he sure has some HUGE balls. Chad says – stop bullying me! OMG LOL. He is so delusional. He says stop bumping into me, stop working out with me, stop cooking when I am in the kitchen. Chad – is Evan stalking you?? Your poor thing! Everyone starts to get up and walk away. Chad now decides to talk about Evan’s failed marriage and that he has kids…he’s had his chance, he doesn’t deserve to be in love again. He is a piece of work.
Date card. Chase reads it – James T. Let’s kick it old school. Love JoJo.
Back to the Chad show. He calls the guys a “parade of losers”. Chad swoops in to save JoJo and give her a breather from these loser guys. Chad tells JoJo, he didn’t want to come on the date with 12 guys. She asks him what happened with him and Evan. He says he didn’t care that he was making fun of him, he said Evan tried to push him over, and he feels like Evan is bullying the bully. She says she is so confused by him. Yeah, we all are JoJo! Naturally, (well done Producers – I’m sure that was you’re doing) Evan rolls in to interrupt Chad.
Evan says he is sorry for interrupting. He says he realizes that he hasn’t been as strong as he should be. He tells her that Chad has two different personalities and he won’t stay on the show if Chad is there. JoJo says, well that puts me in a tough position.
The guys ask Evan how did it go. He tells the guys about the ultimatum that he gave JoJo. JoJo comes in and gets the date rose. JoJo says she needs to talk to Evan, she says she likes him. Oh this doesn’t sound good. She says a lot has happened today, and that earlier in their conversation, Evan said that he wouldn’t feel comfortable if Chad was still here. She said she wants to give him this date rose.
WHOA – I was fooled. He, of course, accepts it. Of course she pretty much told him, she wasn’t ready to send Chad home. Chad’s eyes! LOL. She tells the group that she gave Evan the rose. She is telling the guys about appreciating all of them and that this is hard. She catches Chad’s eyes and is like are you ok. He says – IS THIS REAL? You are actually giving Evan a rose. She says, I don’t appreciate how you are acting, and you are being disrespectful. JOJO grow some balls and send his ass home STAT! Alex tells us he will DVR this episode and watch this over and over since Chad totally made a fool out of himself and finally showed his true colors. They all have to then get in a LIMO with him. HELL NO. They all say he is a ticking time bomb. Yep he is. He gives the term “roid rage” a new meaning!
Derek sleeps in the room with Chad, he said he is afraid Chad is going to snap and is fearful to sleep in there. Security Guards have been brought in to supervise Chad. How is this allowed? Producers are stooping to a new level.
James and JoJo are on their date dressed in awesome old school outfits. They come in see this couple dancing. They are going to have swing dancing lessons! So fun. James and JoJo don’t do that great. But hey who would? They do seem to be having fun though, I can’t imagine some of these guys (CHAD) doing this date.
Chad can’t believe there are security guards protecting these guys! He says they are so sensitive.
James and JoJo’s dancing portion is coming to an end. They come outside to a swing dance dance party with a live band.
James is fun. There is a little girl holding a newspaper and it says James Taylor first one on one date. They are cute together, but I am afraid he is in friend zone. Sorry Crystal!
Chad and Daniel are chatting and eating sweet potatoes (we have moved on from meat day apparently). Daniel said – did you want to punch Evan. Chad says no – I just wanted him to leave me alone. Daniel tries to say – stop being so much like Hitler. Um be more like Mussolini. Um ok. Weirdos.
James and JoJo are sitting under a huge moon! JoJo says she wants someone honest, kind, and selfless. She says she see he has a zest for life. He tells her that he was bullied as a kid. He says he has always felt like an underdog. JoJo tells him, he is the whole package, good looking, kind, funny and a good person! She gives him a rose. James goes and gets his guitar (SWOON) and sings a song to her! They make out, and JoJo assures us James is out of the friend zone!
Back to the house and we see Chad working out and guys sitting there watching him. Derek says he wants to have time with JoJo to tell him what is happening with Chad.
Chris comes in and calls all of the guys inside. He just talked to JoJo, she decided there will not be a cocktail party tonight. When she gets there later tonight, it will be right to the rose ceremony. But there is some good news, she wants to spend the day with you, so instead of a cocktail party, you will have a pool party! The boys immediately think boobs and bikinis. Chad says, he doesn’t want to see JoJo in a bathing suit, he can figure out what she looks like. Um ok. Evan runs after Chris. The boys aren’t sure why. D’uh. Evan tells him, about the shirt tear and the pushing, the security guards, and that Derek left his room. Chris comes in and asks to speak to Chad. Chris tells Chad that it has been brought to his attention that there has been violence and threats of violence. Of course Chad, says Evan tried to push him over. LOL Chris says, every one of these instances are them and not you! Chad says YES. Chris says there is a line he has to draw and it involves violence. He says, I am not asking you to leave, but you have today to settle this. UM WIMP. Seriously Chris, you thought that was going to work? You and the PRODUCERS of this show SUCK.
In the outtakes they show James is giving an interview and this moth was flying around and he killed it!
Part 2, because ABC hasn’t gotten enough from exploiting the Chad drama.
Chad comes in and says to all of the guys, he says Chris wants me to explain some of the issues we are having. He says he isn’t here to start issues with you guys, points at Derek and says you’re a good guy, probably. (nice Chad nice). He points at Evan and says, I don’t have an issue with you, I just want you to leave me alone and stop pushing me. He says I thought we settled things. I hope nobody else has any issues and we can move on. Evan’s jaw is on the floor and ends up saying, Chad you owe me a new shirt and an apology. Chad says I will give you $20 and insists Evan (the bully) tried to push him over. Will stands up (GO WILL) and says that they all have to live together and that everyone should feel comfortable. Chad says, yes everyone should feel comfortable. Evan says, you aren’t going to be violent. James Taylor tries to de-escalate things, and says – so if everyone stays away from you, you will be cool – Chad says, but of course!
JoJo gets to the house and Chad greets her. She says she knows there is a lot of drama in the house, and that they need to relax. She takes off her shirt and tells the guys to do the same! Someone (no idea who) shows up in a suit – like business suit and jumps in the pool. They do some sort of synchronized dive and Evan comes out bleeding, everyone including JoJo says – was that you Chad? Chad says, “Apparently Evan just bleeds thinking about me.”
JoJo comes up and wraps her legs around Jordan. They make out. She says she is nervous because she can see herself falling for him. She isn’t so sure he is falling for her like she is him. She says she is nervous around him. He says whoa, he wasn’t thinking she felt that way. He wants to make sure she knows this is real.
JoJo seems to be mingling with everyone. She and Luke play the guitar, you see her with Robby making out. She says even Chad seems to be minding his own business and happy. She goes to talk to him, and comments on how lathered up he is. She asks him how things are going, and asks if things are getting better in the house, he tells her that it is was never bad. She says well you said seriously when I gave Evan the rose. He said well if you are interested in him, how could you be interested in me. She says why? I get his point sort of. The Producers have Evan come and interrupt. Which of course sets Chad off. He spirals out of control, is sure everyone is talking about him. Which hey, they are. Chad insists he isn’t an aggressive guy.
JoJo asks Derek how things are going in the house, he tells her that he changed bedrooms, because people just snap. Naturally, The Producers told Chad to lurk and listen to everything. Chad approaches Derek and asks if he talked about him the whole time, he says no, but your name came up. Chris comes in and JoJo starts looking for Chad. Oh he is outside beating up a flamingo. Chad comes in and gets Derek and asks him to come see him. Chad says I want to clear something up and Derek says oh are you shaking my hand. Chad says no not yet. Chad says look man whatever guy stole your girlfriend, that guy wasn’t me. Shew he is delusional. He may need serious help. Derek says, she asked me a pointed question, it is interesting that you would lead with what man stole my girlfriend…Chad says are you afraid of me. Derek says yes, I have seen you snap. They bicker about living their lives and having jobs…blah blah blah. Derek holds to the if JoJo asks me something I will be honest with her, Chad is disgusted and walks away.
Rose ceremony. She tells them the week was a whirlwind and saying goodbye is never easy. Grant, Derek, Jordan, Luke, Robby, Wells, James F., Vinny, Daniel, Alex, and Chad get roses. WTF. How in the world does she think he deserves a rose?
Nick, Ali and Christian go home.
JoJo tells them to all go and pack there things because they are going somewhere, but she won’t tell them where.
Nemacolin, Pennsylvania. Huh? That is where they are going. The resort looks amazing. I may have to look this place up, of course it looks like I won’t be able to afford it!
Date Card. Vinny brings it in, Luke, I live you very mush Love JoJo. He is beside himself. Did anyone catch the couch with Chad and Evan right next to each other? Lord. So JoJo and Luke are mushing. I would love to do that sometime. They walk up to a wood fire tub. Makes him chop the wood to drop in there. Meh, I don’t like her bathing suit. Luke does look good though. They try to get in, but the water is too hot, Luke gets in, and holds her out of the water. He has strangely perfect teeth. He tells her it was hard to not have a date last week, and they are both happy with THIS first date. LOL she said he doesn’t look like a rugged man! I don’t think that came out right.
Oh well that sealed it – Jordan, Robby and Alex are discussing possible dates this week, and they are speculating that there will be a 2 on 1 date. Alex says, I hope I am not on a 2 on 1 date, but even worse than that would be to be on a 2 on 1 date with Chad. Done deal. Way to go.
Chad is having a whinefest and the whole time there is a grizzly bear bellowing. Well played ABC. Chad says he doesn’t like getting into confrontations with people, he won’t start anything but if people poke him, he is happy to finish it. It isn’t wise to poke the Chad bear.
Date card. Derek, James T., Daniel, Chase, Wells, Vinny, James F., Evan, Grant, Jordan, Robby – We could go all the way. Love JoJo.
Luke and JoJo end up going to a nice dinner. He was a small town kid in Texas, he got recruited to play football at Westpoint. Then he went into the military and Afghanistan. He is so mellow. His affect seems a bit off to me. But whatever. He tells her about his friend, Jason who was killed in Afghanistan. He knows tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. He said he really appreciates life. He said he had to learn to connect with his emotions again. She seemed surprised to hear he is emotional (I agree with you JoJo). (Next Bachelor here folks). If he doesn’t win, he will be the next Bachelor. Did I call that before? I can’t remember. I like him. Luke gets a rose. She loves saying, I have one more surprise. They go into some place called The Palace. The crowd cheers when they come in. Dan + Shay come out and sing. Again – should I know these people? Dancing and making out.
Next up group date. They roll into Heinz Field. Ben Roethlisberger is there. Hines Ward, Brett Keisel both join him. Boo Steelers – HTTR (that is Hail to the Redskins for those that don’t know! I am a diehard Redskins fan).
Whoa Vinny is sort of cute.
James F. and James T. were grappling and James Taylor’s face got busted up. He says he wants to keep playing and hold off on the stitches.
Heinz tells them they are playing a game and the winners will get to spend more time with JoJo.
Cut to the house, Luke, Alex and Chad. Luke is getting whiplash sitting in between those two. That date is gonna be brutal.
Jordan is all time quarter back for both teams.
Blue Team: Evan, James T., Vinny, Derek, Robby
White Team: Wells, Chase, Grant, Daniel, James F.
Blue team wins!
White team returns to the house. They are all gloom and doom.
Blue team heads out with JoJo to a cocktail party. Robby says, things are going quickly for him, and he is gonna tell her. JoJo says she is very comfortable with him, and that they are making progress even without much time together. They make out on a pool table. It is HOT! Go Robby!
Jordan and JoJo have an awkward conversation. She tells him that he needs to be more open with her. He says he is having real feelings (to the camera) and he has to tell her. He does tell her that he could see falling in love with her.
JoJo comes to the group, and picks up the group date rose. She says she is giving it to someone who took her by surprise and made her feel special. Jordan gets the rose.
Date card. Chad and Alex – Let’s get lost. Love JoJo. Into the woods your path goes only one returns with the rose – Chris. Luke says – Chad if you go home tomorrow, why do you think you would be going home. Chad responds – stupid question. He tries again – what do you think JoJo needs to know about you to have you stay here. He says I don’t know. Grant snickers. Chad says – do you have a problem with me to Grant. Chad stands up and says – who has a problem with me. Most of the guys raise their hands. He tells them to not talk to him. Alex says we are polar opposites.
Lord this is too much to keep up with. Chad wants to go outside with EVERYONE and beat them up. Chris Harrison – this is what sweeping it under the rug did.
Chad and Alex are all packed up and ready for their date. I am exhausted.
The guys are all sitting around chatting about the upcoming 2 on 1 date, Chad gets into with Jordan a bit. Chad says to him, you know you think this is a show, and when this show ends, you go home, and if you think I can’t find you and won’t go out of my way to come to your house.
Alex comes in and they all tell him about Chad threatening to come find Jordan after the show, then Chad walks in – CRICKETS. You hear the helicopter come in.
JoJo says she woke up feeling a little uneasy about today’s date. She has seen a lot of drama with Chad, but she has seen a soft side of him. Alex is a stand up guy, but she doesn’t know if they can take it to the next level. She tells them they are going to go hike. Chad seems very attentive to her, whereas Alex is sort of trailing behind. Lord this is awkward. They are all sitting by the water. Alex lays it all out, and even tells her that he specifically threatened Jordan that he is coming to find him after the show. JoJo is confused, she says that the guy that Chad is with her is totally different. JoJo confronts Chad, and of course he denies everything. Says people have pushed him. She of course knows that his mom died 6 months ago, so wonders if he is just struggling. That makes me wonder, has he told any of the guys this? Or is he just testosterone with them?
You see Chad lurking in the woods and Alex is just sitting. Chad says, I have told Alex over and over again – don’t talk about me.
Awkward. Chad comes back and lays down on the blanket next to Alex.
Chad says, I am not very happy with you to Alex. Alex is like with me? Chad says, I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Life ain’t all blueberries and paper airplanes you know.
Chad says it is unfortunate that I can’t hurt you right now, without getting in trouble. Alex says, that is all you do is talk about violence. They bicker a bit. JoJo walks up and hugs them both.
She says today has been confusing. She says to Chad, I have gone to bat with you, and gave you second chances, and she asks if he has threatened people in the house. He says it isn’t 100% false. He admits to saying what he said to Jordan, because he was backed into a corner. JoJo says to Chad, I don’t think you are who you say you are, I don’t want to be with someone who resorts to violence and threatens other people. JoJo just says to Chad, I need to say goodbye to you here and hugs Alex in front of Chad. They leave him there. He is wondering if he is getting punked. He thinks she is acting. He says – Alex lies and says I threaten people, now I have to go find Alex. DELUSIONAL. Chad for the love of all things holy, please get some mental help and STOP WHISTLING. He is a horror movie waiting to happen.
The guy comes in and gets Chad’s suitcase and the entire house celebrates. Fireball for everyone.
OMG He is rolling up to the house, knocking on the front door. OMG. HE COMES BACK. TO be continued in two weeks? WTH. This is the stuff of nightmares I tell you. Chad. ugh.
OMG the outtakes with Daniel pretending to be naked were pretty funny!