The Bachelorette JoJo Season 12 Episode 4,
or is it 5? ABC is calling it 4 so, so will I.
How is this only episode 4? We open with a reminder of what happened what feels like 70 years ago – ok fine 2 weeks ago. Chad, like we can forget. Jump to the house and the guys celebrating. They decide to celebrate by spreading protein powder – really? Producers?
Cut to whistling Chad. Wells is very outspoken in their powder sprinkling. They tossed that protein jug right into the woods. That is not biodegradable! They show Chad knocking on the door. CRICKETS, AWKWARD. Evan is like oh no, I hope he isn’t here for his protein powder. The guys asked what his date was like, he said well Alex talked about me the whole time, Jordan is skating around so that Chad doesn’t come hunt him down! Chad blames all of the guys for the way he acted. Jordan says he wants to shake his hand and say goodbye, and says he is squeezing his hand too hard. Evan cries about his shirt, and asks if he has his wallet on him. Chad pirouettes out of the house. Wow I spelled that right on the first try!
Alex and JoJo make out. And he seems more excited to go back to the guys in the house! They welcome in like a true hero!
Fireworks, cake in the face. What a waste of a yummy cake.
Reddi Wip is in bed with ABC and the Bachelorette, based on the commercials.
CHAD will be in Paradise. Sure enough. Wonder if Alex will be too, cause we all know he won’t win. Or EVAN! Premiere’s August 2nd! It can’t come soon enough!
JoJo comes into a cocktail party, she says she never saw that side of Chad, um the guys really tried to tell you!
Chase has knocker balls and they get in one together and then she knocks him over. Knocker Balls must have needed another segment!
Robby and JoJo do some wishing well thing, and makes out in front of all of the guys, they aren’t happy!
Luke and Alex have roses, and Luke says, are you going to try to get time with her.
James F. is with JoJo reading a poem and Alex interrupts. He is pissed. He is pleased with himself this week, for sure.
Luke approaches Daniel and JoJo to interrupt and Daniel says, give me a minute. Again he is pissed. Luke tells JoJo he is falling for her. He was borderline creepy, but sweet at the same time.
Now that we got rid of Chad, but I think it distracted us and the guys from seeing each other. Luke comes in and talks to a couple of the guys, and says are you going to talk to JoJo, cause I am going in for seconds. All of the nastiness is coming out.
Jordan comes in and takes her and says, I have a rose and don’t want to take up too much of your time, and slams her against the wall and starts making out with her. IT was hot. I am not really into him, but that was hot.
Chris comes in and says it is time for the rose ceremony.
The guys are going into this ceremony, very nervous, again the lack of Chad to focus on has seemed to really throw these guys for a loop.
Jordan, Luke and Alex have roses already. Derek, Robby, Chase, Wells, Grant, Vinny, James T, and Evan all get roses.
End of the road for James F and Daniel.
Daniel in his exit interview, is clearly WASTED. He is slurring words, and says he has a better chance getting struck by lightning while shaving, then falling in love with JoJo. OK?
JoJo tells the guys that they are leaving Pennsylvania and heading to Uruguay.
Wow Uruguay looks lovely. We see JoJo on the beach, cause JoJo needs to be in a bikini in every episode. Oh snap, we only see the coverup so far.
The guys all walk together into their hotel.
Date Card, Alex reads the card – Jordan, Let’s seal the date. Love JoJo. Some of the guys aren’t thrilled. Naturally, Jordan thinks it was/is the perfect choice.
Wells is unraveling.
Jordan walks like a girl. JoJo has Lauren B’s shorts from last season, ok hers were lighter. Oh there is the bikini. I knew they would do it. Jordan and JoJo are out on a boat. It looks cold.
The guys are all standing around talking about, how there have been 2 football dates, conspiracy theories flying. They are so jealous!
J&J go swimming with the seals, which would be really cool.
The guys are reading magazines, and are all unraveling. How did they get these magazines?? They want to KNOW what is going on, and they want to know NOW. Oh this is gonna be good!
Date Card – Luke, Derek, Chase, Evan, James, Vinny, Grant, Wells, and Alex – I can’t sand to be away from you. Love JoJo. Nobody looks happy all because of the article. Producers must have needed more story lines, since Chad was gone.
Back to Jordan and JoJo making out. JoJo tells us that she knows someone who dated Jordan, and she told JoJo that Jordan was not the best boyfriend. JoJo tells Jordan about her relationship before Ben, and how it damaged her. She tells him, that she knows someone he used to date, and tells him that she mentioned that their were trust issues. Jordan looks nervous, drinks water, and plays with his hair. He tells her that when he was in football that was his main focus, and he didn’t put their relationship first. She asks if there was cheating, and he immediately says no. He does say the environment he was in – he enjoyed talking to girls, but there was no cheating. JoJo points out last week Jordan said “falling for you” and this week he said “falling in love” she said that is very different. Is it? She wants to know if that is true, and that he won’t get scared and leave. She gives him the rose.
They go walking around, and they stumble upon a group of dancers and musicians. They naturally join in and you guessed it – made out.
Back to the hotel. Jordan is bragging about his date to the guys, nice one Jordan.
JoJo is talking to the camera and saying how happy she is, and that nothing can change that, so the producer shows her the magazine the guys have been reading, that I am sure they gave the guys!
She is like they have seen it? She is clearly livid, and upset. I mean an ugly cry.
She says, getting on The Bachelor was the best thing that happened to her. Yep cause you are now the Bachelorette! She leaves her room in bare feet! EWWW. I am a germaphobe and that is gross. She shows up to talk to the guys. She is very upset, and they comfort her. They decide she is serious about this. OK that’s settled. (I did really love her sweater/robe whatever it was!)
We find Robby and Jordan are in the spa, getting pedicures and Jordan takes a bite out of the cucumber on his eyes! They talk about the group date.
Valizes Sand Dunes is where the group date is taking place. They are going sand surfing, which looks so scary but very cool. Evan says, he is sure he will get a bloody nose today, yep so are we Evan! Vinny is hot, just gonna lay that out there. Seriously, sometimes they show him and I am like WHOA.
Date card shows up for Robby – Love is within our reach Love JoJo.
Back to the group date, and JoJo brings up the article again. Luke takes JoJo and says he believes in her intentions. You see her spend a bit of one of one time with some of the guys. Derek seems to be unraveling. He goes to see JoJo and says it has been so long since his one on one, and says he is jealous there with all of these other people. Alex decides he doesn’t like Derek, and he still thinks he is the bees knees, he feels he needs to tell JoJo. They show them talking and you can see JoJo’s eyes glazing over. Alex is a bit intense. I think he would be fine not on tv though. JoJo gives the group date rose to Derek. The guys are like WHOA.
We come back to the beach for Robby’s date and JoJo is rubbing some cute dog.
Robby shows up for their date. They go drive through the town. No idea what they were eating, but it did not look like date food!
The guys from the group date, don’t understand why Derek got a rose.
I like Robby, maybe he can be the Bachelor? They decide to jump off the cliff. Hell no.
I don’t think they thought about how to get out after they jumped in.
Alex and Chase ask Derek, what did you do to get that rose. They say, well she said, I want to give this rose to someone who needs reassurance. Alex is coming off like a bully. I like Chase, so not sure if he is like that too?
Robby and JoJo are at dinner now. He tells her that he is there for her and to find love. He tells her that his best friend died last year in a car accident, while texting and driving. He knows tomorrow is not always promised, he decided then that he wasn’t going to stay where he wasn’t happy (where he lived, his job, and his girlfriend). He tells her he has fallen in love with her. They makeout. He gets a rose.
They go for a walk and there are fireworks. (I swear I typed that before they started) (I should produce this show) (I am not a producer though).
Cocktail party and rose ceremony. It seems very intense. Derek asks Alex, Chase, Robby and Jordan to come outside for a chat. He says it is feeling like a high school click here. The guys are like what in the hell are you talking about. They all go back inside. The guys non-click guys ask what was going on outside. Jordan says, that Derek said he felt like they are exclusive. He asks all of the guys, and awkward silence. Wells says, well it was on his mind and he wanted to speak up. Chase harps on the timing of Derek bringing it up, since he doesn’t have a rose and has other things he wants to focus on. (shew these guys are more dramatic than girls). Jordan says, you spoke for the group and said we all feel excluded, Derek says, no I didn’t. Grant says this feels like high school, good observation Grant!
Chris comes in and says, this has been a difficult week, and there will be no cocktail party. 3 people will be going home. The guys are unraveling. (I feel like I have typed that a LOT).
Roses go to: Luke, Chase, Alex, James, and Wells.
Vinny, Grant and Evan go home.
There looks like there will be a lot more drama next week!
What in the hell with Luke’s side book, that was funny! Get him some pasties!!
Do yourselves a favor and check out Dave Neal on youtube. He does the best recaps! He is so funny, I found him during Ben’s season, and his videos are addictive!