Bachelor in Paradise Season 3 Episode 4 &
The Nitty Gritty
Who Joins The cast
Caila, Ashley I. and Jen (who)
Evan and Amanda’s fake date
Caila and Jared
Izzy and Lace get a double date card. Of course they ask Grant and Vinny
Ashley I and Daniel
Jen and Nick
The Rose Ceremony
The seven girls are handing out roses. Nine guys – so two will go home.
Lace to Grant
Amanda to Josh
Emily to Jared
Hayley to Nick
Sarah to Dan
Carly to Evan
Izzy to Vinny
Lace looked great, until you really looked at her dress – I hated it from the back!
Who Goes Home
Christian and Brandon
We join the episode with Evan creepily approaching the moaning Josh making out with Amanda. He reads his fake date card to Amanda, and she of course gleefully says yes and goes to the treehouse with him. He asks if there is any place in her heart that she can see something happening with him. UM WTF?
So, Josh apparently moans the same whether is he is kissing the love of his life or eating cheese pizza. So weird.
Back to Amanda and the Evan trainwreck. She says, to be honest she was surprised by him the first week..but now she has something with Josh. Amanda cries, which is odd. Similarly to his blindness with Carly, he feels there is a glimmer of hope that he has a chance with Amanda.
Amanda comes to moaning Josh and his pizza, and tells him what happened, and he keeps moaning and eating pizza. Whacko. Josh feels very confident in his relationship with Amanda errr pizza.
Evan tells Jared, that Amanda told him she came there interested in him. Um? Did she say that?
Dan shaves Vinny’s back. Yep, he does.
Josh is very sweaty. Very sweaty.
Sarah and Christian go and chat, and discuss their fantastic date, and make out. Of course, Daniel interrupts. They are so awkward together, Sarah says to us, he has to kiss her. Have they not kissed? A bee stung him, and she saves him, and he kisses her. She tells us the kiss was good but not the best.
Brandon and a twin (Haley) are talking, and he is very confident. Um didn’t they switch at some point and he didnt’ even notice.
Evan decides interrupting kissing and moaning, is warranted again. He asks Amanda to chat again. He wants to warn Amanda of all of Josh’s ills. He says he wants her to be careful, and that Josh was verbally abusive. Of course sweet as honey, Amanda thinks Evan means well.
So she runs to her girls a twin and Lace, who both say – we told you to be careful with Josh, since he is a bad boy. She says, it was a reality check.
Lace and Grant decide to chat about it. She tells Grant about Evan’s shenanigans, and um Josh is sitting right there, and she says she doesn’t realize it? UM?
Naturally, Josh is pissed, and wants to discuss it with Evan. Amanda tries to defend Evan, Evan walks right up to them, and Josh pulls Evan aside. Ominously, says “anything you need to tell me”. Josh tells us, that he has a very real relationship with Amanda (based on less than 24 hours, and moaning and making out!) Evan says that Josh is so polished (I TOTALLY AGREE). Josh clearly, curses and is bleeped. Evan tells us his polish is polished! LOL. He harps on the book – hmmm guilty much Josh? Josh says he is very spiritual and God has a plan. Yes he does, and I don’t think it has anything to do with Bachelor in Paradise you who has now been on three dating shows? Call me judgemental! LOL Evan says – he has an ocean of words, but not thoughts!
Nick is making a play on Amanda now.
Seriously, Amanda is great, but really how is SHE the hot commodity?
Nick talks about God a lot, this is suddenly a religious show, and these are v. Religious people.
Josh talks a lot to Amanda, and she says yeah, and looks away.
Emily and Jared are hanging out. She is quite smitten. And in walks Caila. Jared is smitten! So are a few other guys.
Caila reads her date card and decides to chat up all the guys. All the guys are smitten, and the girls are all ready to scratch her perfect eyes out. Caila asks Jared to go on the date. He tells Caila about going out with Jubilee and now he is with Emily. She says, no worries, he says, no I just want to talk to her.
He awkwardly asks Emily for permission to go on the date, dream on. Emily finally says, I want you to go. AWKWARD. Caila doesn’t say anything to anyone.
Emily takes comfort chatting with Nick (and looks HAWT), and all he says is I have been dumped two times on national television, it’s ok. And nobody falls in love on a horse!
Caila’s boobs may make an appearance. I love how they wear these skimpy bathing suits and are always picking them out of their butts and pulling them up on their boobs. They do seem to have a good date and good connection. They make out.
Caila and Jared come back to the group, and tell everyone how great everything was. Jared comes back to the group and asks to chat with Emily. Emily tells him she really likes, him and he says the same. She says she doesn’t want to hold him back or have him regret anything. He finishes with saying, he should explore things with Caila. Emily is upset! She wants to be first. Maybe the twins will get their own show.
Double date, I am sure this is going to be a mess. Grace (Grant and Lace) and Vizzy (Vinny and Izzy). Barf. They all have a love fest, and tell each other they are all great.
Sarah and Carly decide to have a double date. So they invite Evan and Dan over. They have some awkward moments, including push ups with girls sitting on your back. Evan trying to kiss Carly and she says no. Then the date is over.
We see a producer tying to wake Evan up. Medical comes in. When they come tell the girls, Carly is immediately freaked out. They tell Carly that someone needs to monitor him. They end up making out. They are both so weird, and good together.
Back to messy date. They end up at Senor Frogs. TEQUILA! And Foam Party! OH NO. Foam Parties are a mess.
Not sure what happened, but some girl pissed Lace off.
Cut to Nick depressed on the beach. We see Josh and Amanda go to bed, and they show flowers opening and fireworks and hear moaning! Um we see what you did there producers!
More Josh eating pizza and he drops something on his crotch, and then eats it. It is like a trainwreck, people can’t look away.
Jared and Caila are playing cards and making out right with Ashley I comes in! Of course she is saying, her biggest fear is to walk in and find Jared in love with someone.
Tuesday night starts with showing Jared and Caila still smitten with each other, and they need to show Ashley I walking in again.
Ashley meets Chris, and he asks what she is doing there, and she says that her infatuation (she doesn’t use that word) with Jared is holding her back, but they are just friends. She tells him that she will be fine seeing him with someone else. Chris than asks her – how she is doing with crying! LOL. She says she is only allowing her self to cry three times, he says a day?, she says no – EVER. LOL…well now.
She walks in with the date card. Crickets, and Jared gets up and hugs her. I have to say I like Ashley’s hair shorter.
She immediately, asks Jared to go chat. He tells her about he and Emily, and now he and Caila. She scowls. She says to us, that she can’t see him with Caila. She calls the twins out, and is already crying (#1). She didn’t know which twin was which, which is funny! Apparently Caila and Ashley discussed this scenario before, which they are both telling some girls. Ashley says, that Caila promised she wouldn’t go for Jared. Well, she did. Ashley is crying again – does this still count as #1?
They totally make it look like she is chatting with a parrot.
Ashley comes and asks Caila to talk. Caila starts with an apology, and Ashley hugs her, she tells Ashley that she came in with a date card, talked to all of the guys, and Jared was the only one she was possibly interested in. She admits that they talked about this before, and that she wasn’t going to go for Jared, but she can’t help it. Caila says, she didn’t know she was coming, and that she is sorry and didn’t mean to hurt Ashley. Shew.
The twins naturally tell Jared, that Ashley allowed herself three cries, and she is already on one. That was stirring the pot for sure! Ashley threatens to go, and Jared says, don’t. She says that there is nobody for her there, and that she isn’t ready to see Jared with someone else. Then tells him Caila said she would never go out with Jared and calls her a back stabbing whore! He tries to talk her into taking Daniel. She asks him, and he awkwardly says yes.
Dan goes and tell Sarah, of course she is worried.
Dan and Ashley’s date – he goes right in and asks about her being a virgin, and if she wants to have sex. Oddly they discuss swinging both ways, which was way confusing. They do discuss the Jared thing. They end up bonding.
Jared and Caila are talking, and he apologies, and she says you don’t have anything to be sorry about.
Dan and Ash – they do seem to be bonding, he tells us that he is very turned on by her virginity, and he wants to offer her canadian bacon. This tribe comes in and says it is time to sacrifice a virgin an date Ashley away, and Dan just sits there? I mean, I ‘m not sure what he should do, but sitting there eating isn’t it.
That seems to be the end of the date, because we come back to Ashley talking to the twins. (Cry #2, if all of yesterday was #1). She likens this whole scenario as as bad as someone dying.
We see way more PDA and moaning with Ashley and Josh, Nick is watching, and upset. And whining that he hasn’t met anyone. In walks Jen from Ben’s season. I recognize her, but have no real recollection of her on that show. The guys and girls are all like BA BAM. She has a date card, and says she wants to take some time and talk to everyone.
The twins of course are going to fill her in on what is going on. It was so funny how they popped up the pics while they were talking.
Dan offers to pay Jen to take him on her date.
Nick and Jen talk, He says he really likes her and would like to go on the date, she ends up asking him to go.
Back to Evan and Carly. The doctor goes to see Evan, she wants him to go to the hospital, and he says ok, let me go get Carly. He immediately thinks free date card and says she might be the only medicine he needs.
Boat date with Jen and Nick. She says she is “kind of” attracted to you to Nick – um thanks. They discuss dolphins and that they have sex for pleasure.
Carly tells us, that she is looking for a good person, and Evan is a good person, so she is back on the Evan train.
Jen asks what Nick’s outcome is from this, he says, well at the least it was to see some old friends, and meet some new friends. They make out and have crabs all around them.
We come back to Ashley crying (#3?) With Caila saying, love is the best feeling in the world, and you never want it to end as a voice over.
We are at the party before the rose ceremony. Jared asks to talk to Caila and they have a good conversation and make out. He tells us, he is giving his rose to Caila.
Nick tells Ashley why did she come there unprepared, Ashley says she loves Jared, and that he says no, that is infatuation, not love. Ashley asks Jared to talk. They bicker. Both threaten to leave the show. And all they give us is a big fat TO BE CONTINUED.